For accelerated characters: put them on and breath.
Just between us, the realest thing about this bird is its earring replica. Because nothing about this bird is real – or at least not as we know it. To start with, we have his monumental pink beak: with sharp jaws ending in a hook, reminiscent of a shoe. Then, we have his height (1.5 m), wingspan (3 m), weight (8 kg) and life expectancy (50 years). Finally, his unmistakeable silhouette – immobile for hours, outlined against the vast plains of Uganda. With solitary habits, their courtship techniques are limited to just enough to keep the species going: slight inclinations, some rocking, and little else. As soon as he spots another shoebill in the distance, he grumbles and flies away.